Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar!

My eyes open to the blinding lights entering from the parted pink & green floral curtains. Sun rays hit the white linen of your side of the bed. Empty. Cold.

Your pillow stares back at me with a frosty look, incomplete without your messy bed head decorated diligently on it.

For a millisecond there, I thought I actually saw you — your sleepy face, a haircut long overdue.

I'm broken out of the psychedelic trance by the ringing doorbell, your abandoned bed, it's the milkman at the door. Why was I hoping it'd be you?

"Abhi na jao chhod kar,"

Two long years of making coffee with extra cream & sugar. Three long years of knotting your tie as we fussed over a decent breakfast of eggs and toast.
Two long years of you giving me the last bite of your toast.
Apparently, it was enough for you. For me? My longings tell me otherwise.

"Ke dil abhi bhara nahi,"

Sometimes, the situation perplexes me. You said that it wasn't working and that we would move on, that it wasn't a very long time. Well, I guess time is a relative concept because you got that wrong. It was a long time for me, boo.
It took three months to fall in love with you, two years to love you, and it's been seven weeks since you left.
And right now, it feels like I'll be over us only two decades from now. I don't know.

What I know is that it'll only take me 3 seconds to spring to my feet and come running to open the door for you. Why am I still hoping for that? I don't know if it's the pills I take to make me sleep as my tears dry or just my messed-up brain. I guess 'hope' can be both a good thing and a bad thing. I'll just have to wait and see.

"Abhi na jao chhod kar,
Ke dil abhi bhara nahi."